i think the other night i actually drank enough to feel it. i'm not sure i felt a buzz, but i felt nauseated. it could have been the two drinks (a margarita and a daiquiri) combined with some pre-existing sleepiness and a couple weeks' worth of emotional stress. maybe alcohol just plain doesn't agree with me. all the way home, i kept thinking, 'i wonder if i should be driving?' but i wasn't, like, drunk or anything. i couldn't really tell the difference between that and the times i made the 4-hour drive home from college at the end of semesters after having pulled several all-nighters during the week before. they say that driving tired is the same as driving drunk, in many cases.
one thing i like about the whole concept of music is the way lyrics and melody work together - the fact that lyrics can have such a deeper, more poignant effect when they are together with the perfect melody. it changes the emphasis, sometimes, it changes the intention, it changes your focus. to me, this is the magic of a really good song. it's the perfection of music, and the most admirable of artistic skills.
one of my most recent favorite examples of this magic is the hamburg song by keane.
a piece of correspondence i had with our business manager today. you'll notice that i like to refer to him as The Big BM. read from the bottom up.
bottoms up!
--Original Message--
From: Me
To: The Big BM
haha. that's good to know. thanks.
~h
--Original Message--
From: The Big BM
To: Me
That just brought back a harsh memory. when i was in 2nd grade i got caught putting pencils up both nostrils and one out my mouth. the teacher made me stand out in the hallway that way. the principal walked by and just stared at me. i thought i had gotten over it....
--Original Message--
From: Me
To: The Big BM
Big BM, i just wanted to let you know that i stopped sticking my inkpen in my nose as soon as the bank people walked in! i thought you'd be proud.
~h
--Original Message-
From: The Big BM
To: Me
no, but i guess if my previous email was twisted into that, no sense trying to explain further. i feel stuck in a Dilbert cartoon....
From: Me
To: The Big BM
so, not our normal grumpy selves, then, eh? noted.
--Original Message--
From The Big BM
To: Book Sales
all,
2 or 3 folks from [a bank] will be coming into the office at around 11am on thursday to twist my arm (sell us on banking services...). i may be showing the around.... most generally i don't worry about making a good impression on salesmen, and i don't know if this will result in any changes, but if you have opportunity to interact with them, please try to make the same good impression you make with our customers.
thanks,
The Big BM
since my birthday was so close to easter this year, and i was going to be with my family in michigan anyway, i asked them if we could all go to Rainforest Cafe, which is one of my favorite places on earth (besides Disney World, of course.) speaking of Disney World, actually: my sister and i were driving around the parking lot looking for an open space, and i was getting excited. i said, 'Rainforest Cafe is the 2nd happiest place on earth." my sister said, "and there is a Rainforest Cafe in Disney World!". i almost wet myself.
so we had a great time at RFC, and i will now bore you all with some of the photos i took.
the bar is under toadstools, and the bar stools are animal bottoms. also, the aquariums are everywhere!
to get into the restaurant part, you walk under an aquarium. it's so cool, and the fish are huuuge.
we got to sit under the jungle sky. there were "shooting stars" all over the place. also, every half hour, there was a rainstorm. the animals came alive, the rain came down harder, the lights flickered on and off. it was scary and fun! i captured a few seconds of it: (i think that's my nephew yelling "liiiightniiiiing!")
i like nice people.
i'm in the eye of a storm. sometimes i do this in times of extreme stress or depression. i see that things all around me could not possibly hurt more, yet i am in an uncommonly good mood. i think it's my mind's means of survival. if it didn't just step out of the pain, it would die - i would die.
so, i've stepped out of the pain for the moment. i don't know what's going to happen, when or if it will get better, or if i'll have to learn to live with the worst. i can't really think seriously about that, and am afraid to step back down into it.
also, evidently i can't speak in anything but pictures and similes. maybe also a defense mechanism.
anyways, all i know is that no matter how and no matter what the end, it will one day end.
but on a brighter note, here's a picture of melissa from tonight that makes me chuckle:
for meggie's "oh my goodness!" day meal, we had mac & cheese with sausage, green bean casserole, lemon-lime finger jello, and funfetti cake with mint chocolate chip ice cream. she picked it all herself. it actually really hit the spot. great comfort food. i've especially been craving mac & cheese lately. now if only i could get some real, not-frozen pizza, i'd be set. also, warm, fresh-from-the-oven homemade bread. i was fantasizing about that this afternoon.
i forgot to mention this: i saw a real live woodpecker yesterday afternoon. it made a sound i hadn't heard before. when i moved closer so i could get a better photo, it went and hid on the other side of the tree, and kept peeking around to see if i was still there, all the while caw-ing the way it did. finally, since i didn't leave, and only kept stepping closer, it just flew away, screeching.
but i did get a couple of photos
two things:
== i have this furnace in the middle of the living room in my apartment. well, it's not technically in the middle of the room, but it feels like it. well, here's a photo i posted of it in an earlier post:
i have a couple of sweaters that i can wash in the washing machine, but the instructions say to let it dry flat. weeelll, i've just been spreading them out on top of the furnace for short periods of time so that they'll dry. i don't really have any place to lay them out flat.
so, tonight, i paused while doing the dishes, and walked out into the living room, and it was filled with smoke! i couldn't figure out where it was coming from. of course, i immediately thought the house was on fire, and began cursing my misfortune. then i found the sweater that was spread out on the furnace, and picked it up. the back is burnt! :( i really liked that sweater, and only bought it recently - with money i shouldn't have spent. now it's ruined. what a waste.
but on a happier note...
== i just found out that when Sleeping At Last noted on their myspace bulletin that they added an indiana date to their tour schedule, they meant the town i live in! in fact, they'll be performing about a mile away from where i live. i could walk there.
this is also sort of ironic, because i spent a great deal of energy a year and a half ago trying to convince the powers that be at my church to host a concert. no one really wanted to do it, because they didn't think we'd be able to manage the marketing/promotion, as well as find opening bands, etc. they made it out to be a huge deal that was out of our league. but this church that is hosting them - it's not very big, i don't think, and i didn't hear about it until i checked their myspace page. bah. we could've done it.
do you think they'd come to dinner at my place if i asked them?