there's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
i'm in the eye of a storm. sometimes i do this in times of extreme stress or depression. i see that things all around me could not possibly hurt more, yet i am in an uncommonly good mood. i think it's my mind's means of survival. if it didn't just step out of the pain, it would die - i would die.
so, i've stepped out of the pain for the moment. i don't know what's going to happen, when or if it will get better, or if i'll have to learn to live with the worst. i can't really think seriously about that, and am afraid to step back down into it.
also, evidently i can't speak in anything but pictures and similes. maybe also a defense mechanism.
anyways, all i know is that no matter how and no matter what the end, it will one day end.
but on a brighter note, here's a picture of melissa from tonight that makes me chuckle:
for meggie's "oh my goodness!" day meal, we had mac & cheese with sausage, green bean casserole, lemon-lime finger jello, and funfetti cake with mint chocolate chip ice cream. she picked it all herself. it actually really hit the spot. great comfort food. i've especially been craving mac & cheese lately. now if only i could get some real, not-frozen pizza, i'd be set. also, warm, fresh-from-the-oven homemade bread. i was fantasizing about that this afternoon.
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